pov: you're looking for a first date spot in soho for that person you've had on and off plans with all summer and now it's time to face the reality of cuffing season and give them a chance
featuring reviews from my single friend with incredible taste - or as the blog will know him - Mr. Mezcal.
When I was waltzing with Singlehood, trying to find a first-date spot made me feel like a quarterback under pressure to call a play with the clock running, frantically listening to the coach in my inner ear, and looking at that cool playbook thing on my wrist. It could be called a QB sleeve. It SHOULD be called a QB sleeve. It should ALSO be obvious I’ve never played football.
There are more factors than we think when it comes to picking a date spot: vibes, location, price, and, because you’re reading from my brain, mise-en-scène. Shout out Jean-Luc Godard.
Vibes: Does it feel like it didn’t get built yesterday? How’s the volume? Volume, to me, is a HUGE factor. You never know on a first date if someone is a low-volume talker or a high-volume talker – this can be FATAL.
Location: My subway take would be that it’s okay, in fact, encouraged, to have a go-to date spot near your apartment. And no, it’s not because it’s near your apartment – it’s because real New Yorkers build routines and relationships with our own versions of the city. Going to the same place over and over again isn’t an act to feel cool; it’s a personal connection to a place, a location, a routine. Going into a first date presents so many unknowns – what’s wrong with controlling a factor or two? For safety reasons, of course, you don’t need to disclose that the place is close to you – in fact, it’s nice to have a friendly bartender act as your bouncer of sorts, your genie, easily able to bring the check or a free round of shots.
Price: If you’re dating in New York City, chances are you’re going on more than one date a week, chances are you’re going on more than two dates a week, and chances are the places you’re going charge $22 for an espresso martini (brought to you by Nespresso). It adds up. I’m not here to pitch you ways to rack up Chase Sapphire points, but if you want to date seriously, you need (or, I suppose, should) consider cost. In retrospect, few things stung more than a bad date that also meant spending one hundred dollars. That’s one hundred dollars I could have spent on Ralph Lauren bear sheets.
Mise-en-scène: This is a film term that, to me, means the essence of the scene, made up of the production design, use of color, camera angle, grain, music, dialogue – the total sum of all factors to create an emotional environment or feeling. The date spot’s mise-en-scène is completely up to your personal taste. My personal preferences range from a Brooklyn dive bar to Bemelmans Bar. I fear we fail to consider what WE want when we go on a date. We tend to think of what people THINK we want – “Did they like the place I picked? Did they think I was cool? Do they like me?” Be a little selfish and pick a place YOU want to go. Chances are, the other person you’re potentially meant to spend the rest of your life with will too. And if they don’t – that’s a good sign.
La Compagnie des Vins Surnaturels (249 Centre St, New York, NY 10013)
Raoul's (180 Prince St, New York, NY 10012)
With all this said, let me remind you that no setting, no artisanal cocktail, can ever substitute for irresistible banter and palpable chemistry. In truth, the most memorable date might just be the one that unravels unpredictably, where the charm lies in its delightful imperfection.
May you go from ghosting… to toasting.